Despite the highs and lows, I choose to say yes to life and love....

It's hard to stay motivated when everything feels so bleak, but I have to keep going

Life feels hard and I’ve forgotten a time when it wasn’t. It feels like I have my feet buried in concrete, and no options exist to move one side or the other. You’re just stuck where you are, all solutions exhausted, all doors opened and shut. Online and sometimes off, you get the same old advice and the same old messages from the well-meaning who have never known want, hunger or failure, never taken a risk, never loved and lost, or made a fool of themselves for love. They’ve never put anyone in the ground and suffered the soul-shattering effects of grief.

The lowly failure of the freelancer is an example to be made by the stick-at-your-job-till-your-pension-crowd, sanctified and selfless with their mortgages paid off, who are more than happy to illustrate your own failings and foolhardiness. Your silly little business and your barely there salary is coming home to roost now, isn’t it? Now who’s a silly girl?

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